Co-Sleeping with Your Baby
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Time to read 4 min
Co-Sleeping with Your Baby: What Worked for Me (and How to Stay Safe)
When my baby arrived, I was working a demanding job and returned to work early. I wanted to breastfeed for as long as possible — but walking across the house for every night feed was exhausting. Our little one settled better when close to me, cried less, and we all got more rest. We invested in a larger, firm bed; my husband is a light sleeper and I’m very still when sleeping, which helped.
Note: This is simply what worked for our family. Co-sleeping isn’t right or safe for everyone. Your situation and risks may be different — always prioritise safer-sleep guidance and speak to your midwife, health visitor, or GP if unsure.
What Do We Mean by “Co-Sleeping”?
People use “co-sleeping” in two ways:
- Room-sharing: Baby sleeps in their own cot/Moses basket in your room.
- Bed-sharing: Baby sleeps in the same bed as a parent.
UK guidance recommends that babies sleep in the same room as you for the first six months. If parents do choose to bed-share, following safer-sleep steps is essential (links to NHS, the Lullaby Trust, UNICEF, and NCT below).
Why Co-Sleeping Worked for Us
- Night feeds were easier: Breastfeeding required less getting up, so I rested more.
- Baby settled faster: Less crying and more predictable nights.
- We felt connected: Proximity reassured both of us.
💡 Comfort tip (for parents): Side-sleeping with a full-body pillow can reduce hip and back strain during night feeds. Keep all adult pillows and bedding well away from baby’s sleep space.
Big Warnings (Co-Sleeping Isn’t Safe for Everyone)
Avoid bed-sharing if any of the following apply:
- You or your partner have consumed alcohol, taken sedating medication, or used recreational drugs.
- You smoke (or anyone in the home smokes).
- Your baby was born prematurely or is of low birth weight.
- You feel extremely sleepy or are likely to fall into a very deep sleep.
- You’re on a sofa or armchair — this is particularly dangerous. Move baby to a safe, flat sleep space.
⚠️ Important: If any risk factor is present, place baby in a separate, safe sleep space (cot/Moses basket/bedside cot) in your room.
If You Choose to Bed-Share: A Safer-Sleep Checklist
- Use a firm, flat mattress with a fitted sheet. Keep the sleep area “clear and flat.”
- Always place baby on their back for every sleep.
- Keep pillows, duvets, heavy blankets, and loose bedding away from baby’s face and head.
- Ensure there are no gaps where baby could become trapped (e.g., between mattress and wall).
- Do not allow pets or other children in the bed at the same time.
- Dress baby appropriately and avoid overheating (a baby sleep bag can help keep bedding clear).
- Never leave baby alone on an adult bed.
Set-Up and Logistics That Helped Us
- Space: We chose a larger, sturdy bed to avoid crowding and keep the sleep area clear.
- Positions: I slept on my side to feed, kept my arms as a “cuddle curl” boundary, and kept bedding low, away from baby.
- Stillness: I’m a naturally still sleeper; my partner is light-sleeping and attentive — this mattered for us.
💡 Alternative that we rate: A bedside cot/co-sleeper attached to the bed keeps baby within reach for night feeds without sharing the same sleep surface.
Alternatives If You Don’t Bed-Share
- Bedside cot / co-sleeper: Baby has their own safe space right next to you.
- Room-sharing: Cot or Moses basket in your room for the first six months.
- Night-feed set-up: Keep water, snacks, and a comfortable chair near the cot to avoid long night walks.
Pros & Cons at a Glance
- Pros: Easier feeds, less settling time, more rest for some families, bonding.
- Cons: Not safe in some circumstances; requires strict bedding management; possible disturbance for partners; can be hard to transition later.
Professional Help & Reliable Resources
If you’re considering co-sleeping or struggling with nights, speak to your midwife, health visitor, or GP. Trusted online guidance:
- NHS Start for Life — Safe sleep advice and co-sleeping tips
- NHS — Reduce the risk of SIDS
- The Lullaby Trust — Co-sleeping and safer sleep
- UNICEF Baby Friendly — Caring for your baby at night (PDF)
- NCT — Sleep safety and co-sleeping
FAQs: Co-Sleeping
Is co-sleeping safe?
Room-sharing is recommended for the first six months. Bed-sharing carries risks, and it is not safe in some situations (e.g., smoking, alcohol/sedatives, sofa/armchair, prematurity/low birth weight). If you choose to bed-share, follow safer-sleep guidance and talk to your health professional.
What’s the difference between room-sharing and bed-sharing?
Room-sharing means baby sleeps in their own cot/Moses basket in your room. Bed-sharing means baby sleeps in the same bed as a parent. The safer-sleep steps above apply if you bed-share.
How can I make bed-sharing safer if I choose it?
Use a firm, flat mattress; keep pillows/duvets away; place baby on their back; check there are no gaps; avoid pets/other children in the bed; never on a sofa/armchair; avoid overheating.
Will co-sleeping help with breastfeeding?
Many parents find night feeds easier when baby is close. Comfort for you matters — a supportive side-sleep position can help. Keep in mind that adult bedding and pillows must stay clear of baby’s face and head.
Can a body pillow make co-sleeping safer?
No product can “make bed-sharing safe.” A body pillow can support your posture and comfort, but it should be kept away from baby. Safety comes from following safer-sleep guidance and assessing your personal risks.
Who should not co-sleep?
Parents who have consumed alcohol or sedatives, who smoke, or who feel extremely sleepy; any sofa/armchair set-up; and babies who are premature or low birth weight. In these cases, use a separate safe sleep space in your room.
