Third Trimester | Essential Birth Partner Checklist

Essential Birth Partner Checklist: What They Should Pack and Know

When preparing for labour, most checklists focus entirely on the mother. But birth partners — whether it's your spouse, friend, or family member — play a vital role in supporting you physically, emotionally, and practically throughout the entire experience. And yet, many show up unprepared.

This guide is designed specifically for birth partners — outlining exactly what they need to pack, how to prepare, and what they should expect in order to be a calming, confident presence during one of life’s biggest moments.

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What Is a Birth Partner’s Role?

A birth partner is more than just someone who holds your hand during contractions. They are your voice when you can’t speak, your advocate, and often your emotional anchor during labour. Their responsibilities can include:

• Supporting with comfort measures (massage, positioning, water etc)
• Keeping track of your needs and preferences
• Communicating with hopsital staff
• Managing essentials like your hospital bag, snacks or documents
• Helping you stay calm and centred

The best birth partners are prepared, responsive, and informed — and packing the right items can make a huge difference.

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The Ultimate Birth Partner Packing List

Essentials

• Photo ID and any required hospital documents
• Phone + charger (with a long cable)
• Snacks and drinks: for both of you — nuts, fruit, protein bars, water
• Change of clothes: including something comfortable for sleeping
• Toiletries: toothbrush, deodorant, face wipes
• Cash or card: for vending machines or car parking
• A list of emergency contacts

Comfort Items

• Pillow or neck cushion: You might be there a long time
• Blanket or hoodie: Hospitals can be cold
• Flip-flops or sliders: Easy to move around in
• Notebook and pen: To jot down timings or birth notes (optional)

Support Tools

• Birth plan (yours and mum’s)
• Massage oil or tennis ball: For back support during contractions
• Cooling spray or face mist
• Essential oils (if pre-approved by hospital)
• Playlist + Bluetooth speaker or headphones

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Click the image to download or print

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What to Know Before You Arrive

Birth can be fast and chaotic — or long and exhausting. Either way, preparation is key. Here’s how to be mentally and emotionally ready:

• Know the birth plan: Be familiar with mum’s preferences for pain relief, positions, skin-to-skin, etc.
• Practice your route: Know how long it takes to get to the hospital and where to park
• Be flexible: Labour rarely goes 100% to plan, and your calm adaptability will matter
• Ask questions ahead of time: What’s allowed in the delivery room? Can you stay overnight?

💡 Tip: If you're unsure about any part of the process — speak up beforehand. Confidence and clarity will help you show up at your best.

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During Labour: How to Be a Great Support

Being present is more than just being in the room. Here's how to support actively and mindfully:

• Stay calm, no matter what: Your energy affects hers
• Offer physical support: Help her move, walk, stretch, breathe
• Time contractions if needed
• Remind her of her strength: Encourage, don't direct
• Step in with hospital staff if needed: Advocate respectfully if she’s not being heard
• Give her space when necessary: Read her cues

Bring patience, gentleness, and flexibility. You don’t need to “fix” anything — just be there fully.

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What to Expect in Different Types of Births

Labour doesn’t always unfold in one predictable way. Being prepared for different types of births can help you stay calm and supportive.

Vaginal Birth (Unmedicated or with Pain Relief)

Expect movement, breathing techniques, and lots of physical support. You may help time contractions, offer massages, or assist with breathing patterns.

Induced Labour

This can take longer and involve more monitoring. Be prepared to stay calm during early slow progress and be present for longer hours.

Planned or Emergency C-section

You may or may not be allowed in the operating room. If permitted, your presence helps reassure your partner. Prepare for surgical protocols and longer recovery time after.

Water Birth or Home Birth

Know your surroundings. You might help manage water temperature, lighting, and space — and act as a direct support when midwives need you to step in.

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How to Emotionally Support During Each Stage of Labour

Each phase of labour brings different emotions and energy levels. Here's how to be helpful throughout:

Early Labour

• Help distract and comfort (e.g., light conversations, walking)
• Encourage rest and hydration

Active Labour

• Offer steady physical and verbal encouragement
• Apply counter pressure to her lower back
• Remind her to breathe and focus

Transition Phase

• Stay steady — this is when she might panic or say she can’t do it
• Avoid arguing or correcting
• Just hold her hand and remind her she’s almost there

Pushing Stage

• Stay at her side unless otherwise requested
• Encourage, count with her if needed, and don’t panic if she changes her mind frequently

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Birth Partner Tips for Hospital Etiquette

Hospitals have unwritten rules — here’s how to stay helpful and respectful:

• Be polite to staff — they’re your allies
• Don’t film unless asked or given permission
• Stay tidy and avoid crowding small rooms
• Use headphones if playing music
• Step out if your presence adds stress at any point

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After Birth: What Happens Next for Birth Partners?

Once the baby arrives, your job isn’t over.

• Support skin-to-skin contact
• Help her feed (if breastfeeding) or bond
• Stay close, but respect her space
• Ask questions if medical procedures arise
• Take photos (if she wants them)
• Coordinate calls or messages to loved ones

💡 Pro Tip: Many partners forget to care for themselves — eat, hydrate, stretch, and rest when you can.

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Common Mistakes First-Time Birth Partners Make (And How to Avoid Them)

Even with the best intentions, many partners walk into the delivery room unsure of how to help. Here are the most common missteps:

1. Overpacking or Underpacking
   Fix it: Stick to the essentials above. No need for bulky extras, but don’t skip comfort items.
2. Forgetting It’s Not About You
   Fix it: Labour can be intense for both of you, but your focus needs to stay on her.
3. Being Glued to Your Phone
   Fix it: Keep your phone on low power mode and silent, and avoid distractions unless you’re updating loved ones or playing music.
4. Panicking When Things Change
   Fix it: Expect the unexpected. Ask questions, stay calm, and remember the staff are trained to adapt.
5. Neglecting Emotional Support
   Fix it: Words matter. Be encouraging. Don’t try to solve — just listen, affirm, and be present.

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Final Thoughts

Being a birth partner is one of the most meaningful roles you'll ever play. It’s not about knowing everything — it’s about showing up, being present, and offering comfort in a moment that can feel vulnerable and overwhelming.

With the right mindset — and a well-packed bag — you can be the support your partner needs. Whether it’s fetching a snack, massaging her back, or holding her hand in silence, your presence matters more than you know.